To be honest when I went to watch K.A.N.K (And what a weird sounding abbreviation that is), I had already made up my mind that it would be trashy and I could get a good laugh out of it. On the good side, it was not as bad as I thought it could have been. On the unfortunate side, while it was not corny enough to be laughed at yet it was tiring enough to give me a good headache at the end of… hmmm..almost 4 hours
When Karan Johar decided to name the movie ‘Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna’, boy, he really was not mincing his words. The movie stretches on forever like bubble gum – long after the taste is gone. But let us begin at the beginning. Which is – what exactly is Amitabh Bachan doing in this movie? With him and Kirron Kher’s character out, the movie could have easily been cut by an hour. But no, Sir, no. Rem this is Karan Johar and he will put in every marketable movie star in his movie (including special appearances for John Abraham and Kajol). This man is never is going to be able to make a great movie till he gets over his obsession of serving decked up movie stars in the correct proportion in great locales, with expensive settings and dancing to hummable songs. Hey, we all know Karan Johar’s movie is about catering to the NRI market where the big bucks are and formulas still work. So we cannot really complain that we did not know what to expect.
Well after that general piece of ranting (I hate to know that Rs. 60 crores was spent on this silly movie), here is the review. Dev (Shah Rukh) is married unhappily to the ambitious Riya (Preity Zinta). The duo has a son and Dev’s mom (Kirron Kher is yet another annoying role) stays with them. Abhisheik (oh never mind his character’s name) is definitely unhappily married to the tedious Maya (Rani Mukherjee) and the couple is childless. Dev meets Maya. There is chemistry (which we have to use our fertile imagination to visualize) and they both embark on a staid and boring affair. The respective spouses throw them out when they find out. After some confusion, Dev and Maya get together. And what about Amitabh you ask? – I told you he was irrelevant.
Maya’s character is probably the dullest and most irritating character in recent times. You are surprised that she has managed to snare a looker like Abhishek forget the fact that she actually embarks on an affair. Rani Mukherjee wearing rugs shaped into skirts and in grey make-up does nothing to spice up the character. Preity Zinta has clearly not learned how to age gracefully – she looked like a hooker in the promos but thankfully in the movie looked like the mother of a seven year old. Shah Rukh is his usual ‘Look at me I am Shah Rukh’ self and has some of the funniest lines in the movie. Abhishek’s character anyway is never developed (and thank God for sparing us another 15 minutes of torture).
There are a hundred faults you can find with the movie but the main one is that you need to show the lead couple actually having some chemistry. Both look like they were bored in their respective relationships and decided to take a break – not like they met their soul mates. Given that Karan Johar was trying to tell us all about soul mates and stuff, what a damn waste of 4 hours.
Let your NRI brethren watch this one.