This Diwali I have immersed myself completely in the pure and joyous commercialism of the season. I bought lots of new clothes, I collected plenty of money from unsuspecting relatives by falling at their feet for their blessings and I even undertook a project to paint our old mud lamps in delightful designer colours till my mom pointed out that South Indians light lamps for Karthigai Deepam not Diwali. In line with these activities, I decided to accompany a colleague to buy sweets from a popular sweet shop.
As expected the place was packed with last minute shoppers and we finally managed to make it to the billing counter. My colleague’s inventory was substantial and while she struggled to make payments I fell into overhearing a conversation between two people
Male 1: You will never guess my age.
Male 2 (in flattering voice): Don’t know. maybe early 30s…?
Male 1: (laughing in an embarrassed tone hiding a lot of glee): Actually I am 43.
At this point, curiosity got better of me and moving to Convenient Gaping Position #1, I casually took a look at the man. He looked 40, not 43 but definitely not early 30s. Since my work sometimes involves coming up with such white lies, I completely sympathized with Male 2. Coming back to Convenient Overhearing Position #1, I continued.
Male 2: (Who obviously had not stopped gushing during my subtle spy walks): I just can’t believe it. This is amazing
Male 1: (Still laughing)
Male 2: Infact no one would say you were single. You look like a normal, married man.
Hello!! Since when did normal = married. This was the point where I felt like moving to Convenient Bashing up Silly Goose Position #1.
Male 2: So are your parents looking out for you.
Welcome to Indian society where people actually hold your parents responsible for your singleton status even if you are 43
Male 1: Er..not really. Think if it happens, I will just find someone of my own.
Thank God. Finally some sense.
My colleague had finished with her purchases by then and it was time to move on. However, I have suddenly realized what an entertaining experience overhearing can be.