30-Jun-2007

Finger lickin' good

With one thing and the other, I found myself reading an article on ‘the art of flirting’ (or was it ‘the art of seduction). My beauty parlour plies me with expensive firang magazines and I eagerly lap them all up with the fervour of someone trying to get the most bang for a 500-buck haircut. The article talked about ten tips for flirting or seduction and at tip #4 my eyes popped out. ‘When you go out for dinner, don’t use your fork and spoon. Eat your food with your fingers and then lick the food off your fingers’. Apparently this is one of the world’s biggest turn-ons.

Holy Cow! Suddenly the whole population problem in India stood explained. Supply everyone with forks and spoons and we should be down to decimal point growth in the population.

Eating with your hands is something done by most of the population, though with varying degrees of intensity. Of course at the farthest end of the spectrum you have sophisticated Delhites who prefer to slice up rotis and dosas with fork and knife (What did you guys do before the Brits came? Starve?). The rest usually get by with maneuvering fingertips in a manner designed to consume food without spilling it on the table. Really cool practioners of the art (like my late great grandma) manage to toss food casually into their mouth from around the region of their belly and not have food particles fly around. It is almost as mesmerizing as watching Rajinikanth toss the unlit end of a cigarette into his mouth.

Chennai (not Tamil Nadu) is the only place where you get an exposure to the superlative form of eating with one’s fingers. You do not merely eat with your fingers. You also perform the entire range of steps prior to digestion. You mash up the rice and curd into a semi solid form, scoop it off your plate in one efficient movement, dig your hand into your mouth, past your, teeth, pharynx and oesophagus till you can feel the lining of your stomach. Then you release the food and bring out your hand for the next round. In case any of the semi solid stuff has slipped past your finger down to wrist, you lick it up thoroughly like a really spoilt puppy.

Turn-on, did anyone say?

1 comment:

MK said...

Hilarious!!! Brilliant as usual Anita.